Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Be Still in the Presence

It was one of those rare moments. The sun's warmth was victorious over the cold winter's wrath. I took my blankets and headed out to my back porch. I felt the sun.

I was completely still...afraid if I moved I would somehow scare the sunbeams away.

Psalm 46:10 The Message
"Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.”

Psalm 46: AMP
 "Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand)
that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!"

Be still...It is easy for the body to rest. It is easy to find those moments for actions to cease. To lay out on the porch and soak in the warmth of the sun. But I wanted my mind to be still. I wanted to look at the cloudless sky, the creation around me, to "take a long, loving look" at my God and let my mind cease striving.

My mind never seems to stop. An on-going constant stream of traffic...the thoughts rage on. I cannot remember when I became this. When I became this stressful, worry-filled, pressure-driven, bundle of anxiety. I have moments of joy. I have moments of laughter. of fun. 

But when did I stop being joy. 

As I was sitting on the back porch I felt the Lord calling me to return to my name. I was completely overwhelmed with the emotions and lightness of being a little girl. I wanted to return to my Father's arms. 

Sometimes I feel like I make my walk with the Lord more painful than it needs to be. I think diving deeper means adding more equipment for the jump. Studying the Word should not be tedious. It should not be stressful. Asking the hard questions, learning, growing--it is hard--but it doesnt need to be ugly.

This year's prayer in my life is that the Lord would show Himself...that I would not grow numb to Who He is, the power I have inside through the Holy Spirit...that the truths would remain fresh and real.

Adding to this prayer--I want to sit. I want to be still. I want be full of wonder. I want to be amazed. I want to just be in the presence of Jesus. Letting go of expectations...I want to be joy.

Rejoice in the Lord always...this is really hard for me. The sun hides behind the trees and it starts to get chillier. Even in the shadows, dark days, or the miserable moments of winter--I can experience the hope. I have realized lately just how much I chain myself. I build walls and close windows. I shut myself in--complaints, comparisons, disappointments, stress, pressure, expectations--it is too much to handle and to take on...and we are not supposed to take all of these burdens. Let go. 

To be full of joy. This does not mean we are happy all the time. I can not stand to be around those people. They are so annoying to me. That is not real. Life is hard. I love that joy means more than just a fuzzy emotion. I love that joy is so much deeper. I love that the Lord made me who I am.

Be in my Father's arms. To be a little girl. To enjoy today. I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow, or the outcome of several situations in my life...but I want to live life free. With eyes focused high--I want to marvel and enjoy that I walk life with my best friend. 

Stop. Drop and take off the extra equipment. Breathe. Relax. Live.

We face so many little trials, tragedies, responsibilities, projects, people,--so much that is craving our attention and emotion--do not forget that our Heavenly Father wants to remind you who you are....wants you to be like a little child and run to Him, to get excited and be joy, to cry when it is hard, to be angry when things don't make sense, but always to go to Him.

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